Dirty Banana Pants

Stew and I made a quick trip to Denver over the weekend to attend a friend’s engagement party.  I didn’t tell her I was coming and totally freaked her out.  It was rad! (that’s what they say in Denver).
When we initially arrived in Denver, Stew and I ate lunch, got ready and then picked up […]

I have continued to visit the laser torture chamber.  At this point, I’ve screwed up the artist’s work, so now I have no alternative but to continue to burn it off of my arm.  Word to your Mother. 
The last session I was going to have the inside of my arm lasered and had been trying […]

The other night, as I lay drifting off to sleep, Stew came in and finished watching Dateline.  The story was about a man who had allegedly pushed his wife off of a cliff.  The part of the story Stew began watching was the part before they talk about all of the evil deeds the guy […]

Once upon a time there was a girl named, me.  She was young….oh so young, and single.  One day while she was at work a co-workers husband called to say he found a stray kitten.  Awwww…..  He wanted to know if I would provide a home for the little kitten.  Me, being the cold-hearted bitch […]

It doesn’t matter how bad you think you look in your bathing suit.  There is always someone out there who looks worse.  In case you forgot, I had a date over the weekend with Rick Springfield.  I arranged for the babysitter weeks in advance.  When the kids asked where I was going I told them […]

I saw this story on the Today Show.  I want to state for the record that I do not watch the Today Show, but the headline grabbed my attention, so I clicked the video clip and watched.  As I’m listening to a couple describe how they did what they did…(mom, stop reading) I couldn’t help […]

I’ve mentioned before that a few years back Stew was diagnosed with prostate cancer.  He opted to treat it using proton therapy, which, in laymen terms, is a kick ass treatment that fries the tumor while leaving everything else in tact.  Oh so important for the man folk.  Anything regarding their nether regions is very, […]

We had a storm last night.  Pretty raucous…woke me up a few times, but I still managed to go to the gym.  While I was brushing my teeth I could hear that the sprinkler was on outside.  Stew, who has now transitioned into crazy lawn guy, turned the water on yesterday morning and left it […]

About a month ago Shelby did a face plant in the living room.  She hit so hard, I believe there is an imprint of her brain in our wood floor.  She didn’t knock anything loose, but had a very swollen mouth and black gums.  Luckily, it did not impair her ability to suck her right […]

We had a bit of a tough weekend.  The kids were wired for sound and had a severe case of cabin fever.  I was beginning to feel human again after my bout of strep throat.  Sunday morning, while Stew and I lay in bed, watching Sunday Morning, we heard this:
THUD!
Waaaahhhhhhh!!!!
This sound was not really anything […]