Dirty Banana Pants

Last week, I was discussing my boyfriend, Tom Brady, with a co-worker of mine.  Tom is not only my boyfriend, he is also my quarterback on my fantasy football team.  This is the same league I mentioned before where the only thing you win is bragging rights and the opportunity to escape the work-release program here […]

Here at Crap-Ass, Inc. we have a vendor in town this week to install a software package.  After the installation is complete, we are to meet with him to go over a quickie training session to get us started.  This means that I have to be locked up in a room with Bill, the biggest […]

My boss, Bill, has come up with a few innovative ways to guarantee his name at the top of the list for the next round of layoffs:

The old “fat finger” excuse - When to use: you and 9 other people are sent an email with a list of tasks that each person must perform in […]

I’ve noticed that everyone seems to be depressed lately.  I’ve been reading other blogs, which are usually funny, and the authors are all struggling with depression.  Everyone is dealing with pressures, but it seems as if it’s finally getting to them.  I’m not sure if it’s the weather, or if their pharmarcists gave them a […]

I received an email this morning from a company requesting to do a telephone interview with me on Thursday.  Could it be that finally, one of my 85,000 resumes that I sent out, someone might want to think about maybe, possibly giving me a chance?
Oh please, God, I promise, I will not call my boss […]

A few months ago, my boss, Bill, tells me that our director has asked him to put together some metrics for our department.  They want to present them to the new owners of our organization.  I ask him what aspects of our department need to be addressed.  Uh, he doesn’t know.  I recommend to him that […]

I didn’t think he could come up with new reasons to take the day off, but, yet again, he has only exceeded my expectations.  I have never seen someone so blatantly abuse the system, yet act as if he is following the rules while everyone else is beneath him.  Let me just share this:
I have […]