Dirty Banana Pants

Two years ago today, Shelby, I was sitting in the hospital holding you.  I hope you know what a gift you are to this world.  More than 9 months before you were born, your daddy and I were told that we wouldn’t be able to have anymore children.  We had just had Jake, and your […]

Today was a pretty damned good day, I would have to admit.  I had a presentation before THE COMPANY and feel like it went pretty well.  Of course, it could have been better, but then, I believe everyone and everything has room for improvment.  What almost threw me off was the fact that the MAN’s […]

I planned on filing for unemployment this morning.  So, last night, I looked online to see where the unemployment office was located and to my surprise….Oklahoma has implemented a bit of technology.  I was able to file my claim online!  I couldn’t believe it.  The last time I was laid off, I had to physically […]

All of the people who spent Christmas alone, I just want you to know that you were envied by those of us who had to spend it with our families.  Solitude can be a great thing, especially around the holidays.  And if you are still feeling sorry for yourself, think about James Brown.  Enough said.
The […]

I was informed, a little over a week ago, that my niece, Lauren, would be performing in her church’s Christmas program.  Fine.  I’ll go.  Even if it means that I will be setting foot in the House of the Lord.  Yes, I know, God forgives and Jesus saves, but it’s been almost 13 year’s since […]

We have been experiencing the crud at my house.  Either Jake has it, or Shelby has it, or they both have it.  One morning, it looked as if a small creature was trying to escape from the side of Jake’s neck.  Luckily, it was just a swollen lymph node, but I was sure, based on […]

Whenever the news came out regarding the new Tickle Me Elmo, or for you toy savvy people Elmo T.M.X. - his new and improved street name, I ordered two.  Yes, two, because, this is how it works.  You have two kids, very close in age, you have 8,000 toys lying around the house, under furniture, wedged […]

Stew and I are your atypical “opposites attract” kind of pair.  When we met, I was (still kind of am) a complete slob. 
Disclaimer: My mother and father did not raise me to be a slob, I chose to be one on my own.
Stew, on the other hand, was painfully clean. Painfully.  In fact, I came up […]

I spent my childhood growing up in very small towns.  I was born in Oklahoma, moved to New Mexico, Nebraska, Wyoming, and then back to Oklahoma.  Or, something like that.  
While in Wyoming, where I attended 2nd - 9th grade, I was required to begin selling crap for school/sports/church.  I went door-to-door (by myself) asking people to sponsor me for […]

This morning I woke up, very reluctantly, to go to the gym.  I have set my alarm for 4:30 am.  This allows me to hit the snooze button exactly two times before I need to get dressed and get to the gym by 5:00 am.  Right before I was about to put my shoes on […]