Mean what you do
I have this thing about going through the motions. Where you are nice and courteous for the sake of…I don’t know what. For the sake of others feelings, I guess. But, as I’ve grown older, I’ve tried very hard not to tell someone I love them, if I don’t. If I say I am going to call someone to have lunch, I will actually call them. If I like/dislike something….agree/disagree….I try to find a tactful way, if necessary, to voice my opinion.
I don’t consider myself a harsh critic, at least not most of the time, but why the hell should I expend my energy on something I don’t feel nor care about? For instance, there is a person that I used to try very hard to build a relationship with, but over the years, after being crapped on by this person, I just didn’t feel it anymore.
Each time I would see this person, which sometimes was way too often, I would give the obligatory hug. The one you give to your good friends because you are happy to see them. You can’t wait to talk about things and spend time together. I did not have those feelings for this person….although I tried.
Yesterday, after work, I called Stew to set up the dinner situation for the evening and he informed me that this person was here….in town. Usually, I request at least one week’s notice so that I can mentally prepare myself for this person…and have plenty of time to achieve a good buzz. Not so….
When this person arrived Jake and Shelby hugged them. That’s fine, I have not problem with that at all. I just feel like if I were to hug them my flesh might disintegrate and a little part inside of me would die. Soooo, I spent the entire time dodging the hug…and found that I am quite stealth. Each time I felt it coming towards me, I quickly found ways to block it…like:
- Opening the dishwasher - these contraptions are not just for washing dishes!
- Bending down to pick up the kids’ toys - the one time I’m NOT pissed they are there
- Go to another room - all of a sudden I remember that I need something that’s not where I am…like, the garage, the backyard, my car, my room, the kids’ room, the bathroom…doesn’t matter
Once I realized my I had this new super power, I loved it! I kind of enjoyed the look on the person’s face. The “oh, man, now I can’t pretend I like you to put on a show” face. CLASSIC. The best part was when this person was leaving and I slowly followed everyone, to keep my distance, and then….I waved. Muwahahahaha!
