Who doesn’t love a parade?
The school where Jake and Shelby spend each day has had a note posted on their front door announcing a “parade” that will take place today at 9am. I’m not really clear on if parents are supposed to go….I didn’t. I feel it only necessary to park 10 miles away, walk several blocks in the blistering heat as cars race by, pry my way past all of the grandparents, siblings and cousins to see a school program that lasts all of 3-5 minutes. The whole time my kids are not performing because they are distracted by all of the strangers who have crowded into their tiny rooms to watch them dance around like circus monkeys.
So, they have this parade, and again, not only am I not clear on who is supposed to go but I’m really perplexed about their definition of a parade. To me, a parade is an event where they block off the streets to piss off several people in their cars who have to drive 20 miles out of their way to buy a pack of cigarettes. Then, using colored toilet paper, they make these weird statues that roll around on wheels pulled by a truck of people who wave to you as they pass by…like they are important or something. The only ones I hold in high esteem are those who toss quality candy. Otherwise, they can kiss my ass.
Jake is 4. Shelby is 3. What kind of parade could they possibly have? They are supposed to wear red/white/blue for the parade so I took them to Old Navy. I just thought it easier to buy one of their crappy $5 4th of July t-shirts so getting dressed in the morning wouldn’t be a challenge. The bastards were sold out…and here I thought no one had any money because of the crappy economy. Apparently, people can’t buy food, healthcare, or a comb; but they can look patriotic. I chose some alternative clothing that had the correct color motif and moved along my happy little way.
All I can gather is the parade consists of each of the classes, marching in-line through the school….like nazis. What an appropriate way to celebrate the birth of our great nation. I just hope they score me some candy.
