Dirty Banana Pants

Barf is soft and easy to chew

Posted by Christy
June 30, 2008

The other night, as I lay drifting off to sleep, Stew came in and finished watching Dateline. The story was about a man who had allegedly pushed his wife off of a cliff. The part of the story Stew began watching was the part before they talk about all of the evil deeds the guy had done before giving his wife the heave-ho. Immediately, Stew jumps to the defensive.

Stew: Don’t you EVER fall off of a cliff!

Me: (groggy) Wha? Huh?

Stew: If you ever fall off of a cliff, they will think I pushed you. Don’t ever fall off of a cliff!

Me: Why the hell would I fall off of a cliff?

Right here is where you hit the

button. What do you think he said next? Do you think he said, “darling, if you ever fell, I would run, as fast as I could, to be at your side. Calling for help along the way. Praying you would live. If you didn’t live, I would run to the top of the cliff and jump off because living without you would be no life at all. You are the woman of my dreams, the love of my life. Trying to live without you is like not breathing. I could never do that.”

This is how the conversation transpired:

Stew: I don’t know, but I’m just saying. Don’t do it. If you do, I will drag your body back up to the top and push you off myself. That way, when I’m getting blamed for pushing you, I will have actually done it.

Me: Oh, thanks.