Dirty Banana Pants

Jesus is hanging from the cross.  His apostles sitting below him.  Jesus begins to mumble something, one of the apostles jumps to his feet:

Apostle: Jesus?!  What is it?!

Jesus: Mmmmbdsm…..

The apostle grabs a ladder, climbs up to get closer to Jesus.

Apostle: Jesus, what is it?  What are you saying?

Jesus: I can see your house from here.

A friend of mine told me this joke.  Before telling me the joke, he assured me it was a GREAT joke.  So funny, it brought tears to the eyes of those he told.

LAME

Over the weekend I took the kids to the Zoo for a picnic.  Nothing like smelling fresh animal feces and eating a hearty lunch.  Jake and Shelby were both pretty good.  No arguing, hitting, or pushing, it was pretty great, really.  We took a short train ride through one of the exhibits. 

Afterwards I took the kids to get their faces painted.  Jake was deadset on being painted to look like a tiger.  Shelby was willing to be painted to look like anything someone recommended, which ended up being a butterfly.  While Jake was having his face painted, he told the painter that his favorite animals are tigers and bears because they are his best friends.  Who knew?

Each time someone commented on Jake’s face, he would growl at them.  Adults, kids, grandparents, didn’t matter.  We walked down briefly to check out the elephants before they head to Tulsa to get laid, uh, bred.  Shelby then told me it was time to go home, which meant she was tired and needed to crash. SWEET!

Both kids fell asleep on the way home.  I put each one in their beds.  Jake never opened an eye.  Shelby woke up and demanded her face be washed.  About an hour later, Jake came stumbling into the living room and hung out with me for a bit.  He stood up and looked in the mirror to observe his tiger face.  He made a few faces, growled and then said, “Mommy, can you wash this?  It’s too scary.”