Dirty Banana Pants

Okay, here’s what happened last week…sit back, relax, grab some tissue, you might need it to keep from snotting all over yourself with laughter.
I was offered a contract job for a company in an industry (no not porn) that is not the most desirable industry to work in, but I thought I needed money.  Ha…  […]

 I planned a trip, back in December, to visit some friends over this past weekend.  It was planned and paid for prior to my lay off….I feel like I have to say that so as to minimize my feelings of irresponsibility.  Although I had a few twinges of guilt for taking a trip in the […]

Last week, I was beginning to feel desperate for a job.  My severance was soon to be coming to an end and I was getting anxious.  I have sent out a plethora of resumes and have had only a few calls.  Before, when I was out of work, I didn’t stress like I am now.  […]

The job hunt has been just that…a hunt.  If only I were allowed to use guns, then maybe I’d land something.  Or, land something that I like….
I received a call earlier this week from a recruiter about a contract job.  It wasn’t the best thing ever, but I decided that I would like to be […]

A few years back…..okay, a long, long time ago, I went through a long period where I didn’t have a job.  It was by choice…but I didn’t have a job.  During that same time, George Costanza on Seinfield, was also unemployed and living at home.
My older brother, Robert, would call me George and tease me.  […]

Saturday, Jake, you turned 3 years old.  Each time anyone told you Happy Birthday, you would reply with an exuberant “THANK YOU!”  Each time I lay eyes on you, I know that I am here for a very, VERY good reason.
July 1, 2003 I woke up and something just didn’t feel right.  In fact, the […]

Earlier this week, while standing in my parents’ kitchen:
Dad: You need to start wearing your hair up, or you need a makeover. (Also, motioning with his hands to his own hair while telling me this).
Me: I don’t normally wear my hair like this.  I put a bunch of conditioner in it and didn’t blow dry […]

Yesterday sucked…or as they say in France it Le Sucked.  THE COMPANY that I interviewed with last week called me yesterday afternoon.  They have decided to go with another candidate.  I’m not surprised, but still….  I sent an email to the headhunter regarding the status of a possible interview with the Evil Empire.  They told […]

While working out yesterday morning, with my headphones blaring, I noticed an interesting story on television, which everyone now knows.  I’m referring to the astronaut love triangle.  All I could see on the television was the caption that read something about an astronaut attempting to kidnap another astronaut.  Hmmm, ‘kay…
I go home, shower and head […]

Last week, my Dad retired…..FINALLY.  I keep telling everyone he graduated, but no, he retired.  Oh glorious day.  He refused to let his coworkers throw a party for him and threatened to walk out if they did.  That’s just him, he doesn’t like any formality.  Just do it, get it over with, and let it […]