Dirty Banana Pants

I had a little group of friends that I was very tight with growing up.  There were four of us.  Our group consisted of Ramona (aka, “Boner”), Melissa, Karla, and myself (aka, “Crusty”).  I’ve known Ramona since I was 10 and have known both Melissa and Karla since I was 12.  It was probably a […]

Here at Crap Ass, we are sent numerous company policy and procedure updates via company email.  They are annoying and viewed as something as bad as, if not worse, than spam.  Most of the ones sent out have little or nothing to do with me and my responsibilities, and I typically delete them.  I may […]

I roamed the hallways here, at Crap Ass, and spoke to the other 3 people who are working here this week.  We exchanged our Christmas stories, and it seems that the woman, down the street, you know, the spinster living with 23 cats, is the smart one.  Me and my fellow co-workers have decided that […]

All of the people who spent Christmas alone, I just want you to know that you were envied by those of us who had to spend it with our families.  Solitude can be a great thing, especially around the holidays.  And if you are still feeling sorry for yourself, think about James Brown.  Enough said.
The […]

I came to work today, loving my job as much as I did yesterday.  I was thinking there is no way I could be any happier with where I am, and then I received a Christmas present from my lovely boss, Bill.  Here it is:

 
This is the kind of shit you see on those “dear […]

I received two very funny email jokes from friends.  I am not typically a distributor of this stuff, but these are damned funny.
New From Apple Computer
Apple Computer reported today that it has developed computer chips that can store and play music inside of women’s breasts. 
The i-Boob is considered to be a major breakthrough because women […]

I am a very impatient person.  This is probably one of the reasons God chose to give me children.  So that I may be driven crazy and wind up strapped to a chair, drooling, and begging for pudding.  This would be my penance for screaming at a car in front of me to move, when […]

Here is something very cool that Xerox is doing.
If you go to this web site, http://www.letssaythanks.com/, you can pick out a  thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq.  You can’t pick out who gets the card, but it will go […]

Last week our new CEO had his ominous webcast.  You see, Crap Ass, Inc. was bought out in the beginning of 2006.  Our CEO was replaced a few months ago, and has caused quite a stir.  Which, I must say, has been very, very entertaining.  He is a young guy, for a CEO of a […]

Last week, I was discussing my boyfriend, Tom Brady, with a co-worker of mine.  Tom is not only my boyfriend, he is also my quarterback on my fantasy football team.  This is the same league I mentioned before where the only thing you win is bragging rights and the opportunity to escape the work-release program here […]