Dirty Banana Pants

You’d think we’d never seen a snowflake before.  You’d also think we were preparing for a summit or something.  I am staying home with my kids today because their schools are closed.  We are paying to watch our own kids today…..nice, isn’t it? 
Both kids are down for a nap and I decide to watch a […]

I’m down in Dallas today for….well, none of your business.  My brother got me a pass to workout in his gym.  So last night, we swing by to make sure that I’ll be able to get in without any hassles.  We speak to a very nice girl at the front desk who assured me that […]

I am still in the recovery phase from my Thanksgiving.  Probably, because I don’t participate in a traditional Thanksgiving.  Each year our friends have a costume party…what?  Never heard of that before?  Well, we do, and it’s a riot.
The first year I attended this soiree, it ended in total chaos.  It was the Thanksgiving after […]

The big news alert yesterday concerned whether or not the balloons would appear in the Macy’s parade.  Riveting…I thought it would be funny to send a note to a friend to discuss the issue.  I informed him that I was sitting on the edge of my seat regarding the following: will they or won’t they […]

It is the day before T-day and everyone I know that is actually at work is BORED.  So, in the spirit of boredom, my friend Regan (aka “Regalicious”), emailed me today regarding our predicament.  Here is our exchange:
 
 
Regan: Hey there — I tried to send you an email at work, but I am not sure if […]

I’ve discussed my fantasy football league I’m participating in, here at crap-ass, inc.  I checked my team yesterday and noticed I had moved from 2nd to last in the league to 2nd place….. oh Holy Father…could it be?  Does this mean I will be given the chance to leave this shit hole and find glory […]

I had a ‘first’ today….  Walking into the gym and arrived at the front door the same time as an older couple.  The husband holds the door, his wife walks in and I walk in behind her.  I’m following her up to the stairs and she turns to say something.  I naturally assume that she’s […]

I dropped off my kids with my mother this morning so I could run some errands with my younger brother, Brian.  He has the driest sense of humor of anyone I know.  I think what makes me laugh the most is that he’ll keep on doing whatever it is, regardless of the fact that no […]

This was just sent out by our HR dept:
Casual attire is approved for the week of Thanksgiving (11/20, 11/21 & 11/22). We will also be having “Bedlam Wednesday” on 11/22 and encourage you to support your favorite Oklahoma team.

First off, let me just say that the definition of casual attire is rather subjective….no, VERY subjective.  […]

Whenever the news came out regarding the new Tickle Me Elmo, or for you toy savvy people Elmo T.M.X. - his new and improved street name, I ordered two.  Yes, two, because, this is how it works.  You have two kids, very close in age, you have 8,000 toys lying around the house, under furniture, wedged […]