Dirty Banana Pants

While at the gym this morning, I noticed a Rick Springfield video playing on the VH1 Classic channel.  Ahhh, Rick.  I was sooo in love with him when I was in the 7th grade.  In fact, I loved him so much that I had a heated debate with my best friend, Ramona, over who had […]

I sometimes feel as if I’m being petty when I complain about my job, my boss, my company, my hair, or my lack of a butt.  Although, after today, I will feel petty no more. 
Here at crap-ass industries, we are preparing for an IPO = initial public offering.  Because we are preparing, we have had […]

A few days ago a stranger with a gun entered a high school in Bailey, Colorado.  He handpicked 6 hostages and made everyone else exit.  The remaining students were escorted out of the school and bussed to another location to do a headcount.  Parents were notified to meet their children at this location.
Emily Keyes’ parents […]

This morning I woke up, very reluctantly, to go to the gym.  I have set my alarm for 4:30 am.  This allows me to hit the snooze button exactly two times before I need to get dressed and get to the gym by 5:00 am.  Right before I was about to put my shoes on […]

I have decided, after this morning, that each new person that joins my gym must go through a gym etiquette class.  The following rules will be strictly enforced:

Re-rack your weights.  Yes, we are all impressed that you can benchpress the combined body weight of the members of the the college cheerleading squad.  We will ooh […]

I know that sometimes I think outside of the box, but this situation made no sense to me at all.  There was a job opening here within crap-ass industries as a project manager.  I hesitantly contacted the hiring manager regarding this position. 
When you apply for a job internally, you have to notify the following:

Your current […]

I didn’t think he could come up with new reasons to take the day off, but, yet again, he has only exceeded my expectations.  I have never seen someone so blatantly abuse the system, yet act as if he is following the rules while everyone else is beneath him.  Let me just share this:
I have […]

Whenever I do get another job, I feel that I will understand those who have been unjustly incarcerated and were exonerated after years of lockup and then let go.  Except for the prison sex and the exposed toilets.  I have been in my current job for 3 years.  Since coming here I have learned absolutely […]